Mevio Men

The world’s foremost golfer, Tiger Woods, has announced that he’s in “a relationship” with one of the world’s best known skiers, U.S. Olympic Team alpine ski racer, Lindsey Vonn.  The blond bomber, known sometimes as “The Don,” is one of only six women to win World Cup races in all five different types of downhill. No slouch, that Vonn.

If you’re thinking, “seriously, who puts out a press release to say they’re dating someone?”

Let’s put it this way: The news is so big that even the hefty New York Times has come out and opined.

“Woods and Vonn not only vault to the top of the list of sports couples in terms of lifetime professional achievements, but their relationship will also be a magnet for ceaseless news media attention just for its sizzle and startling inimitability,” noted the Gray Lady’s Bill Pennington.

Truer words and all that.

The two champs have enjoyed a “friendship for some time” but in recent months had blossomed into “something more,” according to a statement by Vonn. Rumors of the relationship began to spread in December. Vonn’s brother, Reed is a buddy of Woods’ having taught the duffer’s kids to ski at Vail.

The two haven’t always been that cozy. Back when Woods’ marital troubles and apparent sex addiction surfaced, Vonn openly made fun of him. During the 2010 Olympics, as Woods was making his public apology, this appeared in Time magazine:

And like millions of Americans, Vonn can’t help poking fun at Woods’ staged event. When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, “They’re like, ‘Yeah, you’re awesome, you go have that sex.’ The room breaks into a laugh. Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host Saturday Night Live: picture Vonn at Woods’ podium, blue backdrop and all. “There’s something you don’t know about me,” Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. “Tiger, you’re like my idol, and I too have a sex problem.” More laughter. “That would be freaking funny.”

Ouch! But then, as they say, “love heals all wounds.”

The question now is Will Tiger stay faithful amid all the media scrutiny? And, more importantly, how big a check will Vonn demand if he does not? Remember Woods cut one to the tune of $750 million to Elin…

Tiger Timeline

1975 – Born December 30. (Totally sucks to be born a Christmas—New Year’s “Tween.” Could Tiger have been compensating in later life?)

1978 – Tiger appears on the Mike “Douglass Show” (look it up, youngster) with Bob Hope (ditto)

1979 – Shoots a 48 over nine holes at the Navy GC in Cypress, Calif.

1981 — 1992 Wins a whole lot of youth gold tournaments; competes in his first PGA

1994 – Graduates high school

1996 – Drops out of Stanford to go pro

1998 – Makes No. 1 ranking

2000 – PGA “Player of the Year”

2001 – 2006 Wins a lot, pretends to drive a Buick

2004 – Marries smokin’ hot Swedish model Elin Nordegren

2007 – Sam, a daughter, is born

2008 – Charlie, a son, is born

Nov. 25, 2009 – Things start to fall apart for Tiger when the National Enquirer breaks the news that Tiger is having an affair. Mayhem ensues.

Nov. 27, 2009 – Two days after the story breaks, Tiger leaves home in his Cadillac escalade (hey, it’s GM!), comes back at 2:30 a.m. and runs over a fire hydrant, a tree and some hedges. “It’s a private matter,” his mouthpiece tells the press.

Dec. 2, 3009 – After US Weekly reports voicemail messages between Tiger and one of his mistresses, Tiger releases a statement to acknowledge some “transgressions.” The scope of those transgressions grows as more mistresses come forward. Sponsors begin to abandon the golf start in droves.

Feb. 19, 2010 – Tiger takes to the airwaves with his big mea culpa. (Essentially, “society made me what I am today…”)

Aug. 23, 2010 – Elin and Tiger Divorce

2010 – 2012 Goes through a post divorce slump. Wags says he can’t condentrate because his mind is on you-know-what.

2013 – The Tiger roars back for the big win at Torrey Pines

(Hat tip to Tiger Woods Timeline for some of the info above.)

St. Patrick’s Day is upon us and what’s more traditional than a wee dram? Bust how do you choose the best Irish Whiskey to celebrate St. Patrick chasing the snakes from Ireland? Here are five top choices, heralded as some of the best whiskey in the Emerald Isle.

Slante!

Special St. Patrick’s Day offer: Get $25 Certificates for only $10 to Claddagh Irish Pub and Restaurant.

Bushmill’s 21-Year-Old

$118 / bottle

Made only in strictly limited run, Bushmill’s 21-year-old is aged in three different types of casks: American bourbon barrels, Spanish sherry casks, and Madeira drums.  Strong, full bodied,  just a touch of fruity orangey-ness and a hint of pepper on the finish,  “Bush 21” should go great with fine Rocky Patel “15^th Anniversary cigar

Kanppogue Castle 17-Year-Old

$100 / bottle

While Kanppogue Castle has been around since 1467, Kanppogue whiskey only dates back to the1970s, when the castle’s new,  American owners began labeling whiskey from a local distillery after the castle. Kanppogue Castle 17-year-old was first distilled in 1994 and bottled in 2010. It’s noted for its complex, aromatic and bright fruit notes supported by creamy vanilla, toasted nuts and cocoa.

Tyrconnell Single Malt

$80 / bottle

Made by the last independent distillery left in Ireland, Cooley, Tyrconnell Single Malt is considered one of the go-to standards of Irish single malts. Made from 100% barley malt, Tyrconnell does not use peat like other single malts so it doesn’t have that smokey flavor. Rather, it’s sweet and complex on the palate.

Michael Collins 10- Year-Old

$40 / bottle

Named after the famous Irish revolutionary, Michael Collins 10-year-old, is double distilled in copper pot stills. The distiller uses both malted barley and peated malted barley and matures the mixture in small bourbon seasoned casks for a minimum of ten years. The result is a slightly sweet nose and rich, complex flavor with hints of fruit and peat with a nice smokey finish.

Greenore 15-Year-Old Single Grain

$80 / bottle

Greenore named the World’s Best Single Grain Whiskey for three years in a row at the World Whiskies Awards in London: 2009, 2010, 2011. Greenore’s nose has hints of bourbon and sweet corn. The taste is rich like soft oils and fragrant grains with a crisp finish reminiscent of oak.

Special St. Patrick’s Day offer: Get $25 Certificates for only $10 to Claddagh Irish Pub and Restaurant.

Let’s face it, St. Patrick’s day, despite its religious origins, is the day to booze it up, just as New Year’s  Eve is a night not to remember. (If you do remember NYE, you’re probably not doing it right.)

So what better way to swerve  into the holiday than with an entertainment that also comes with a warning—celebrity drunk driving arrests, or DUIs in cop lingo. Celebrities being, well, celebrated, seem to live the Life O’ Reilly. The fancy cars. The pool parties. The entourages.

But the Luck O’ the Irish can’t always go on forever.  Sometimes, as the saying goes, mistakes are made. Like not handing over their keys to a sober pal, or taking a taxi back to the Laurel Canyon manse—it’s not like they can’t spare the cash.

Here then are five famous DUIs by celebs who found the proverbial pot of gold under the Tinsel Town rainbow—and promptly turned it over to the courts and their lawyers because of a single bad decision.

Special St. Patrick’s Day offer: Get $25 Certificates for only $10 to Claddagh Irish Pub and Restaurant.

10. Kiefer Sutherland—Arrested for DUI in 2007 and was sentenced for that and violating probation. He served 48 days in the slammer. People reported later that the “24” star called it a “dumb mistake.” Quite.

9. Linda Hogan—The reality star and ex-wife of pro wrestler Hulk Hogan was nicked in 2012, also in Malibu. They say a man and his dog start to look alike after a while. They don’t usually say that about man and ex-wife.

8. Nicole Richie—Paris Hilton’s sidekick got popped in 2006 on the Ventura Freeway. She served all of 82 minutes in the pokey in addition to probation.

7. Khloe Kardashian—The supposed “smart one” of the Kardashian sisters wasn’t so bright when she got stopped in 2007. When Donald Trump found out he fired her from “Celebrity Apprentice.”  That didn’t stop the starlet-without-portfolio from re-enacting the episode on her reality show.

6. Rick Springfield—The famed “Jessie’s Girl” songster was stopped in Malibu—what is it about Malibu that drives people to drink… and drive?—in May 2011 with a whopping blood alcohol level of .10.

5. Paris Hilton—Pulled over in 2006 with a brisk .08 blood alcohol level.  “It was nothing,” she told the press. It’s good to be a Hilton.

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4. Mike Tyson—The face-tattood ear-biter and world champ boxer was booked for a DUI in Scottsdale, Arizona in 2012. Police found blow in the vehicle. And just when it seemed like Tyson was getting it back together with his eponymous documentary.

3. Lindsay Lohan—First arrested in 2007 for driving under the influence and possession of cocaine. LiLo’s pretty much been in hot water ever since, wrecking her car, allegedly fibbing to the cops and hiring peculiar attorneys to represent her.

2. Mel Gibson—Arrested  in 2006 while speeding through Malibu with an open container of hooch in the driver’s seat, Gibson went on a bizarre, anti-Semitic rant that continues to blacken his name in Hollywood seven years later.

1. Nick Nolte—Nolte is the poster child—er, grizzled poster adult is more like it—for celebrity DUIs. His is the go-to mug shot. The actor (who once played Thomas Jefferson, of all people,  in a Merchant-Ivory film) was busted one year to the day after the 9/11 attacks. Shucks, we were all a little depressed that day, too.

Most of these guys look pretty good. But almost all seem to have trouble choosing pants of the correct length.

Everyone’s about the women’s gowns at the Oscars. But what about the men’s formals? They need a little love too.

Men’s formal wear is nit-picky topic. Today’s tuxedo is interpreted myriad different ways — some classic, others outré. Opinions differ on just how far one can take the tux and still be considered wearing formals. And for the record, real purists never say “tuxedo,” let alone “tux.” They say “D.J.” for “dinner jacket, or they say “dinner suit.” The original D.J.’s, which appeared near the end of the 19th century, were actually less formal wear, worn at more casual dinners. Real formal wear for evening was white-tie-and-tails.

Wearing a tux in the evening was once de rigueur in Hollywood, but today’s hot and hunky Hollywood stars seem to have trouble selecting and wearing formals. They often look uncomfortable and out of place in them. And the pendulum tends to swing back and forth between simple, classic formals and more “updated” classics. One recent example is wearing a plain black four-in-hand necktie rather than a bow tie, which was popular at the 2012 Oscars and made a few appearances on Sunday night’s red carpet. This combination makes purists cringe.

But there were some definite tuxedo titans at this year’s fête, as well as several formal failures. Here’s selection.

1. Best Picture winner Ben Affleck looking raffish with tie slightly askew. Note he’s sporting a vest rather than a cummerbund.

2. Bradley Cooper goes classic — but maybe a little too high water on the trou? Is he expecting a flood?

3. Chris Pine dares to rock the double-breasted. Too boxy? Maybe just a little.

4. George Clooney. No man has aged as well since Dick Clark.

5. Best Actor Daniel Day-Lewis in sleek midnight blue.

6. Eddie Redmayne adopts the short hipster tux.

7. Jamie Foxx would look good in a burlap sack. But the pre-tied bow seems a little off for a superstar. Can’t he afford an assistant to do that?

8. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, also sleek and hip, and very “Mad Men.”

9. Hugh Jackman’s shawl-collared double breasted look brings back memories of Cary Grant.

Have you seen “Family Guy” creator and upcoming Academy Awards host Seth MacFarlane’s James Bond-themed Oscar Night promo? It’s pretty darn funny. But the problem is, it’s just so wrong on so many levels — and not in the bleeding edge way MacFarlane is usually so wrong. We mean literally wrong.

The ad splices in a scene from one of the Pierce Brosnan Bond films. Bond walks up to a bar and gives the famous Bond line, “Vodka martini, shaken, not stirred.” That’s problematic enough already. (For one thing, technically speaking there’s no such thing as a vodka martini, but never mind.)

In the actual Ian Flemming books, Bond only used the line “shaken, not stirred” once, in “Casino Royale.” And he’s not ordering a martini, but a concoction of his own invention called a Vesper, made with gin, vodka and aperitif called Lillet. Yuck.

After Bond orders, McFarlane, playing the part of the bartender,  says “No one has ever stirred a martini.” That’s flat out wrong. Traditionally, any clear cocktail, such as a martini or a Manhattan is stirred to preserve the drink’s crystalline appearance. Shaking a clear cocktail leaves the drink cloudy with ice chips floating on the top. Cocktails that are opaque – i.e., that include some kind of juice – are shaken (like margaritas and cosmos).

Here endeth the lesson. Anyway, if you want to attend an Oscar party this year — one where they do things right –attend BiteSizeTV’s:

In addition to the party, BiteSizeTV celebrity hosts Amy Paffrath, Kristen Brockman, Stephen Hansen and others will anchor live from multiple Hollywood hotspots including the Dolby Theater at Hollywood and Highland and our own red carpet at the W Hollywood Hotel. They’ll be joined by hosts from Hollywood TV to take fans into the heart of the action.

It all starts at 3:00 p.m. Pacific / 6:00 P.M. Eastern. Just go to BiteSizeTV.com and follow celebrity tweets from the party and red carpet using the hashtag #WLiveAndLoud.