Mevio Men

You know when you’re riding a fast moving vehicle, possibly of the two-wheel variety, and you happen to, uh, leave the vehicle while said vehicle is in motion and go skidding along the ground.

Well, that reddish and painful thing on your skin where it made impact has a name: Road Rash.

And true to form, what would an episode of CRUSHED entitled “Road Rash” be without a few wipeouts?

Answer: BORING.

But if it was jam-packed full of wall-to-wall wipeouts, pavement kissing and clips of guys just eating it on their bikes it would be in a word, AWESOME!

And I guarantee you this episode of CRUSHED brings the pain. So much, in fact, that your spleen will feel bruised from just sitting there and watching it. So much, in fact, you will need a catheter.

Okay, maybe not that much… but there certainly are a goodly number of “ouchie” moments to be seen. We’re talking heavy impact theater, baby. BMX stunts gone wrong, way wrong. Think of it as X Games meets Faces of Death.

So strap in and bring your ice pack. This is ROAD RASH… in yo’ face.

You know those warnings “Don’t Try This At Home“? Basically, some kind of legal disclaimer cooked up by lawyers to prevent you from trying to copycat something possibly dangerous.

Or more appropriately, a disclaimer cooked up by lawyers to prevent you from bringing legal action because you copycatted something you saw on the glowing box.

Those four magic words which serve so well in indemnifying those on-screen are also, in themselves, a powerful tease. Why shouldn’t I try this at home? What do they have that I don’t? Are you saying I’m a coward? That I’m chicken?

Huh? Huh?

I mean, really, when you see “Don’t Try This at Home” don’t you immediately want to prove those beady-eyed shysters wrong. Don’t you want to try it at home and show that you’re completely capable of doing something irresponsible and pulling it off?

Yeah, well don’t. Okay? We’re warning you. Don’t make me pull this blog over and come back there and show you what a dumb guy you are (that’s for this show).

Some of these guys in this episode of CRUSHED are pros. Take Jimmy Blaze for instance. I mean, I don’t know if his real name is Jimmy Abromowitz or something like that but one look at his moto stunt and I’m convinced I don’t want to try this at my home or his home or anywhere.

I just like to watch. And I know I’m gonna get an eyeful of Xtreme Video mayhem that only CRUSHED can offer!

Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Of course you do! Nobody wants to be a nobody in today’s world. Especially not when there are video cameras everywhere!

What does that mean for you?

Simple. The only way to get other people to notice you is to DO SOMETHING SPECIAL!

No, not like shooting bottle rockets out of your butt — or into your butt. While that is “special” in a “mommy makes me wear a helmet when I sit on the toilet” kind of way, it’s not really the kind of thing that will get you chicks.

You know what will get you chicks?

Attention!

And the best way to get attention?

Do something dangerous. Not like “stick your hand in the mouth of a crocodile” dangerous. The chicks that get turned on by that kind of thing are most likely nuts and will cut you. Trust me on this one.

No, do something dangerous like pop a massive wheelie on your motorcycle or really do any kind of motorsports where you stand a very good chance of eating pavement. If you make it, you’re a god. If you don’t… well, chicks do love guys wearing casts.

Either way, you win.

Watch and learn on this episode of  Crushed: Desperate Need for Attention