Mevio Men

Okay, I continue to enjoy the weirdness that surrounds anything and everything “Michael Jackson” but this is starting to get ridiculous…

And I love it.

So, if the rumor is true, and I have to tell you that I hope it is… no, I hope and pray that it is, if only for my own amusement, then it means the Home Alone star’s, um… donation was used to impregnate a surrogate of Michael’s choosing and…

Yeah, it’s just all too strange. Too deliciously strange. But I have the scoop on it this week.

Along with a big revelation about a particular image taken from video some hiker shot in Poland that supposedly shows the YETI. Yes, I said it “Yeti” as in Chinese Bigfoot or whatever it is. Except that this Yeti was seen in the mountains of Poland… (insert joke here).

Then of course, for those of you who missed it… let’s not forget about NUDESTOCK… that’s right, 3 days of peace, music and naked people.

Whatever you do, don’t take the brown acid, please…

All this and plenty more news I choose to abuse on this brand-spankin’ new episode of THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK! Did I say spankin’?

… or so they say. And by “they”, I’m talking about the people who figured out, through some kind of intense study and evaluation (read: folks who have waaaay too much time on their hands) that web searches for super hot Jessica Biel are DANGEROUS!

And for more reasons than you think…

While we’re at it, did you hear about Bob Dylan’s new gig? Let’s just say it’ll help those who like to get nowhere fast.

And then, of course, there’s this new “sandwich” that KFC started test marketing in the South. It’s called the Double Down and instead of a bun they are putting the contents of said “sandwich” in between two pieces of fried chicken! Your arteries are already crying as you read this, aren’t they?

Oh, and of course there’s that little matter of the guy who won the Ebay auction for the crypt just above Marylin Monroe and Robin Williams playing Susan Boyle on the silver screen.

I’d tell you more but why ruin a good episode of  THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK… the show with all the news we choose to abuse — all on MeVIO Men.

…are not the same person.

At least I hope not. For some of you out there, I can’t really be sure. Sure there’s something about powerful women that makes certain guys’ pants kinda tight and yes, if you watch that clip of her dancing she sure rocks out those cankles.

But still.

I’m just gonna come out and say it. If Hillary Clinton is your virtual girlfriend then you may want to spend more time outdoors. Or at the very least enjoy the dancing clip in this episode.

However, if you’re open to a non-Hillary Clinton version of a virtual girlfriend then this iPhone app I discuss is probably right up your alley. Still, however, I recommend spending more time outdoors.

And lastly, if after spending many hours with your virtual girlfriend, you decide to treat Minnie Mouse the way a certain guy did at Disney World, you may want to stay indoors for a while. Or, like the guy I talk about on this latest episode of THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK who went to the happiest place on Earth and, well… just watch this new episode and see for yourself.

Don’t forget to listen to Mark as he puts his twisted sense of humor on display as the guest host of Radio Go Daddy!

Alright, alright maybe “pervert” is a bit too strong but doesn’t it seem like that’s what the U.K. government is implying by making her register as one.

In a stunningly misguided program implemented by the British government, all children’s book authors who visit schools must register with a national database intended to protect children from pedophiles, and they must pay a fee to do so. Beginning October 12, 2009, the Vetting and Barring Scheme (VBS) will require that all adults who work with children, including authors such as J.K. Rowling and Philip Pullman if they make special visits to schools, will be required to register with the database for a fee of £64 ($105).

The creator of Harry Potter? The most beloved Kid-Lit author in all of the world? A pervert?

I mean, I don’t know what she does in her off time but this is crazy.

Also, have you heard about this new Fox reality show “More to Love”? It’s like “The Bachelor” but starring obese people. No, I’m serious.

And what exactly did Hillary Clinton say about North Korea?

Screw Weekend Update. We got it all for you. All this and more news we choose to abuse right here on the latest episode of THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK

And if we haven’t completely screwed up your angelic notion of Harry Potter and you’re still considering heading to the movies to catch the latest Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, we’ve got the review right here from our pals at icPlaces Movie Reviews:

With all that in mind… go ahead and get yourself some magic with
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) (Paperback)

Yes, I’m about to expose the real reason behind Sarah Palin giving up on government… but first the group “Little People of America” (yes, this is a real group and the name is in reference to their stature) now wants the FCC, the governing regulatory body for our airwaves, to ban the use of the word “Midget” on TV.

Now, isn’t that just a wee bit ridiculous?

C’mon, Little People of America can’t you, no pun intended, be big about this? I mean if we can’t use the word “Midget” then what do we do? “Little People Wrestling” or “Little People Porn” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I mean, the very word “midget” is derived from the ancient Latin word “midgetarius” which means something like “tiny dancer” or “speed bump” or possibly “He who is last to know when it’s raining”.

Then again, I could be wrong. However, for the new and improved terms that will replace “midget”, watch this week’s episode of Things I Learned This Week.

Oh, and I promise I will indeed reveal the real reason why Sarah Palin decided to resign from office!